The Bell Bug

The Bell household had an unwanted visitor last week as Aunty Noro paid us a visit. If any of you have seen the Exorcist then that pretty much sums up the scenes in the early hours of Friday morning. This would obviously be the year that we got the boys bunk beds and I don't know if you ever tried to dismount a bunk bed whilst crossing your legs and exploding from the inside out, but it’s pretty much impossible.

I always had wondered where Andy Warhol got his inspiration from but now I kind of know. I am quite good with situations of extreme mentalness just like these and as soon as the explosions had hit the ground, I was there with my gloves and as much antiseptic as my bucket could carry. If there was a bug then I was going to exterminate it. After staring at the landing carpet, I and no choice but to give the carpets its last rights and with a heavy heart I began to cut round the area of devastation. This guaranteed that we were again keeping the dastardly bug at bay. Like any good dad I told the kids not to worry as I placed a pink bath mat over the floorboards. The landing now looks a bit like Danny Laroo’s hair piece!

I had cleaned everything, used lots of hand sanitiser and I thought that bug was history! Roll the clock forward to the early hours of Sunday morning when I was awaking by the gurgling of the outside drains, sadly for me the outside drains were in fact my lower intestine telling me to get ready for Armageddon. It was only a 24 hour thing but I looked a bit like Renton from Trainspotting in day 4 of cold turkey! I am now glad to say that I have conquered that terrible affliction and I am on my way back to full fitness for Saturday Nights Pro’s Day.